Blame it on our DNA!!

A recent trip to Sri Lanka turned out to be a revelation for my wife in some respects, but there was a stand-out discovery.  Being a stickler for cleanliness everywhere, she squealed in delight and wonderment over the phone that `Sri Lankans are so clean and they keep public places spick-and-span'.  I have been through this routine so many times in different contexts and as a well-prepped and disciplined trooper, braced myself for what was coming.  The inevitable followup question, justifiably tinged with sadness and embarrassment, was `why cant we Indians do the same'?  Some patriotic Indians, bristling with injured pride, justify many unpleasant things in our country, citing its size.  `Come on, Sri Lanka is so tiny' would have been a typical response from such quarters - an attempt to simultaneously defend the indefensible and deny credit where it belongs.  As if a reasonably small unit, a lane with 10 houses in an Indian town or city, is unfailingly the glistening example of cleanliness, always.  The truth is that collectively we are so bereft of shame and so woefully short on pride in our surroundings that we willingly settle for our messed-up immediate neighbourhoods and this translates to even small areas being filled-to-the brim with garbage and filth dumped indiscriminately by residents.  Not talking of any slum here but of well-to-do middle class localities. If people carved out their own small spaces and diligently took care of cleanliness, any country, however big, can be clean; that is a no-brainer.  Let us admit it - we just dont have it in us to do this and that is the honest truth.  Why?  We are like that only!  Let us blame it on our DNA.  Would that explain why the shopping/eating areas owned and frequented primarily by Indians in Serangoon Road, Singapore and Edison, New Jersey, USA are dirtier?

One does not have to go too far to identify at least one major national characteristic which contributes significantly to the above state of affairs - our tendency to brazenly abandon individual responsibility completely and hope that `the authorities' will do `something' to fix the problem.  This, even when such authorities have seldom exhibited the desire or the willingness to show signs of stirring out of their permanent slumber and, to boot, when the problem is usually created wantonly by citizens going out of the way to be irresponsible.  As, when they willfully scatter garbage from their own houses on the roads or footpaths, just so that their interiors can be clean! When this garbage mound expands in size and threatens their own front door, people do mount a reluctant assault to push it back a wee bit. Then, with contented resignation, they rapidly relapse into their misplaced optimism in the ability of the authorities to perform, despite knowing that nothing is going to happen.  A lot of our public ills can be cured somewhat if only citizens contribute in small, meaningful ways, pro-active or reactive.  If we think about it, we are all ever so willing to bitch continuously about something and wait for some alien  to work an improbable miracle instead of taking a tiny individual or collective initiative for the first curative step.

The other predominant negative attribute that is a character flaw in Indians is that infinite capacity to roundly criticise everyone in and out of sight for some fault or lapse, which we ourselves are squarely guilty of.  Take, for example, the swelling number of cars on the roads; many people blame the car manufacturing companies and the government, with seriously righteous indignation, for flooding the place with new cars, when the infrastructure to support those is conspicuously absent.  The funny part is that most of these offended people can count at least two large cars and two SUVs in their stables, for various family members or pets and to suit different travel requirements!!  Another variant is when these enlightened people passionately damn others for being the sole occupant of a car on the road.  Without pausing to consider where others' journeys originated or ended to facilitate sharing rides, these critics go crimson in faces demanding why people cannot car-pool!  All this, while each such critic is sitting cozily in a five-seater car by himself/herself, driven by a chauffeur.  They forget that the driver does not meaningfully augment the count of occupants in cars and they are guilty of the same sin they are condemning others for or worse, because of the larger cars they use. 

Being sensitive about others, especially in public spaces and empathy stemming therefrom are qualities in which we have a chasm-like deficit. Think of all those people who thrive on high-decibel conversations in restaurants, as if their sole objective is to broadcast meaningless details of their lives to as many patrons as possible, regardless of the reaction of the audience; of those who conduct a robust and loud analysis of a movie even as they watch it, punctuated by deliberate and raucous laughter with the overt intent to disrupt and annoy - unmindful of the clucks and subtle admonishments of those sitting around them; or those who pull out their mobile phones with exceptional alacrity to have some inane conversation loudly, even as the movie screen beseeches the audience to switch off their mobiles and be considerate to others, as if that particular appeal was the stimulant they were waiting for.  We have been mute and helpless witnesses to and victims of such behaviour for years, hoping in vain that things would eventually improve in the distant future, while simultaneously suspecting that nothing will change.

It is galling that this inability to empathize pervades even 'service' industries.  Recently, sitting in USA,  I found out that my overseas travel insurance had to be extended for three days as I postponed my return flight.  I spent about 6 hours over the next two days on phone, trying to get through to the listed numbers - about ten of them, very helpfully plastered all over the brochure given to me - managing only to singe both my ears from the heat generated by my own phone in the process.  I had little else to show for my troubles, so sent email requests to three different addresses, followed up increasingly nasty reminders. Drawing not one but multiple blanks, I roped in my wife at this end to mount complementary efforts in India by calling the local numbers of the provider to escalate, since the expiry of my policy was imminent.  It was amazing that not one call or email elicited any response (the agents of the same company called me a dozen times in a day, to ensure that I purchased the same policy from them before leaving).  Call number 67 in our collective effort finally got us to some cog in the wheel, who sent me a form to sign which I did in two minutes flat and sent back.  By this time the policy had expired and I was desperate, since medical-insuranceless-existence in USA can be diabolically nightmarish, as you can vouch.  What if I needed some medical attention when the policy remained comfortably comatose, despite my best efforts? Mercifully I, almost sick from tension, returned to India without any hiccup , with my request for extension still dormant.  And pronto, I got a call from the provider, asking if I wanted extension for the policy - I am sure they just wanted to pocket that premium if possible. Finally I got hold of a senior officer of the provider through another friend and gave a lashing, berating him for his company's lack of empathy.  He coolly told me `Sir, we would have covered any medical emergency, taking into consideration your application for extension.  You should not have worried'.  It is all well for him to say that, knowing fully well that no claim would be forthcoming but I got put through a wringer for a few days - all because people just could not think of the state of the other guy!  I am sure this happens to everyone frequently.

You can add to this list and go on endlessly - the ability to talk tirelessly and listen much less or not at all (watch the TV news anchored by some of the best names in the industry!); being satisfied with mediocrity, when a little push would have yielded better results (as testified by unsightly holes drilled into the wall for some cable); the constant endeavour to leave a place, any place, messier than when we moved in (remember all the paper tumblers, polythene wrappers and pop corn strewn generously on and around the Gold Class seats in the multiplex?);  or when workmen summoned to repair something in your home complete the job and depart, leaving all the debris + some of the accumulated dust and dirt from their overalls as a bonus, for you to clean up?); an inborn proficiency in criticising people without too much provocation while never offering a word of appreciation when confronted by a good deed (sounds familiar?).

That reminds me - it is not that there is nothing redeeming about us Indians.  Plenty, I should say.  But then, I would rather reserve those positives for another exclusive piece.  I would like to assure all those hypersensitive, patriotic Indians that (a) `we' in the above paras includes `I', so this author is as guilty as anyone else (b) I do not derive any orgasmic pleasure from relentless self-flagellation and (c)  I don't want to be accused of being a harsh lout of a critic, who cannot see a virtue even if it rubs its nose with mine.  Till then!!

Investment advice we can do without!!

Last year, during one of our regular runs between Madras and Bangalore, we had stopped at a road-side tea stall for a cuppa, after my wife had completed the mandatory, thorough reconnoitering trip inside to ensure that things were clean.  While awaiting the arrival of the invigorating potion, we heard a group of three patrons -- they seemed regulars-- discussing about stock market and specific companies.  I was somewhat rattled when they left with this parting shot in Thamizh, to the lady making the tea: `Dont be stupid, don't sell ITC; get rid of Madras Cement instead'.  They did not turn to see me agape at hearing such sagely advice in the boondocks.  But the lady (owner of the tea stall) caught my astonished look and with a wry smile asked `why sir, can't we invest in shares'?  I had absolutely no problem with anyone dabbling in shares (and P.Chidambaram would probably wear an additional towel, swelling with pride at seeing `equity culture' seeping into countryside tea-stalls) but was aghast as to what kind of advice such people got and how they went about this rather intriguing business! More informed people, with an apparently better support system, do struggle with decisions to buy and sell and there we were, with a tea-stall owner in the middle of nowhere, mocking me at my surprised look!

Goaded into some discussion, the lady disclosed that she went by `recommendations' from a few regular customers (she did not clarify whether they got chai free in lieu), what she read in the newspapers and from English TV channels which pontificated on the subject, regardless of whether there was any audience.  In the process, she herself had become an `advisor' of sorts in her own community for those who had the flint and some surplus cash, to step into that minefield.  She was cagey about how much money she had made from trading in shares - as if we were income tax sleuths, pottering around the countryside looking for equity investors evading taxes on capital gains! But obviously she could not hide her pride and wanted us to know that she was successful in her endeavour, indicating clearly that her book was running `positive'.  Her husband, who seemed a truly subservient male under the thumb of the ruling deity, smiled broadly as much in agreement as in appreciative awe of the wily lady's acumen.  Ever since we made that trip, all the investment decisions I previously made unhindered, are  undergoing a newly-introduced in-house audit review by my wife, whose attitude is obviously `if she can, I can too'!

But then why should one be surprised?  Most Indians are Jekyll and Hyde characters, as we know; they are first and foremost either cricket pundits or investment specialists (many are staunchly both!) and then in the remainder of their time, they try to live the lives assigned to them.  There seems to be this unrelenting urge in everyone to be an equity dealer, a latent suicidal desire bursting at the seams to buy and sell at some opportunity and exploding frequently, resulting in losses.  When some such specimens find that their bets are going well 20% of the time, they magically accumulate a fan following via all possible routes including social media and investment-specific website fora.  Very soon they become 'thought leaders' in their own right and dole out advice non-stop, as if they had inside information that the share market is staring at permanent closure in a few months.  They are very soon further elevated by the sponsoring fora and ensconced as investment gurus to quickly develop a permanent and compulsive flow of opinions on all kinds of companies and situations, even in their sleep. Most established brokerage houses generally try to substantiate their conclusion on a stock by publishing well-researched analysis and rationale and they can probably boast of a 30% success rate after all that effort.  But these so-called-gurus have no such compulsion and never hesitate to anoint a stock as a buy or sell, splurging not more than 6 to 7 oft-repeated words on its merits or demerits, seemingly thriving on sheer guesswork.

Let us look at some of the typical Oracle-like pronouncements frequently made by such gurus. `Stock ABC may see higher levels' avers one advisor, being overly coy in not giving even a hint as to why he divines so and the approximate time-frame for this eventuality.  Somewhat akin to the meteorological department, with all its technogical contraptions and satellite support `predicting' rain sometime in the future.  In my opinion, the weatherman comes out distinctly ahead because he does not exhort you to gamble with your money, as he is gazing into his crystal glass; at the most it is a question of getting your hair a bit wet, if you are cussedly unlucky! The same stock advisor is uncharacteristically a bit more elucidating and over-committed by his usual standard of vagueness, when he says `AAA may possibly test 320 in the next 6 months', as the share is wallowing around at 330 that day!  Come on, give me a break; a pundit predicting a 10 rupee-band for possible, not even probable, movement in half year!!  `I prefer XYZ' says another, as if he is talking about dietary choices he is evaluating and has been forced to decide in favour of onion pakora rather than raj kachori! `Stay away from BBB stock' or `Avoid infra space' are familiar dictates from such advisors, again without any supporting argument as to why they say so, but then most of the regulars have already figured that out a couple of months earlier without any prompting! 

If these open-mouthed (only because they ceaselessly suffer from verbal diarrhoea) predictors are outstanding in their vagueness and lack of specificity, they cannot be faulted for not measuring up in terms of quantity.  Two such predictors had some 42 opinions on stocks in very diversified industries, all within a period of 2-3 days.  There is absolutely no pretense of specialization in any industry.  What is the need? After all, balance sheets, profit and loss accounts and numbers are the same, industry characteristics be damned! I decided to keep track of some of the `predictions' and as can be expected from mass producers of stock recommendations, some 4-5% of the recommendations were right over a period of time.  I am sure the tea-stall lady, with her three magi as fleeting advisors, did better without making so much noise, simply because she was forking out real money, her own, in the process!  I am so sure of the quality of some advisors that I constantly play the contrarian for the heck of it and can assure you of having done reasonably well overall.  So, one might say there is some use for such advisors, after all??

I jumped out of my skin one day, some years back, when I saw my father watching NDTV Profit and intently following the ticker tape running at the bottom of the screen.  He has never gone anywhere near the stock market ever and had no reason to be glued to that screen.  But he was and when I asked him why, his answer was a simple `just like that'!  I think many of these advisors have taken this a few drastic steps ahead and are into advising `just like that'.  There is no need to pity the followers because they happily `created'  this tribe of advisors in the first place!!  They deserve what they get.