The first reaction from my dear wife when she looked at the TV screen on 23rd May afternoon was very predictable, knowing her, even though the vehemence in the tone was a bit unusual. `Phew!! The stupid thing is finally over, mercifully' -- she exclaimed those words when the election results were out, with a cocktail of emotions like relief, joy, residual irritation and wonderment as to what next. I hasten to assure the readers she is one of the most vociferous advocates of democracy in all forms and at all levels (in public domain, I must add. Most women who tend to practise that admirable concept take a slightly different approach, as convenient, in matters relating to the husband, as evidenced by various live specimens). But the chaotic campaigning and overwrought election process itself had come to such a head where all she desperately wanted was the election-circus related rigmarole to be done, dusted and buried deep. For some specific reasons, this 2019 parliamentary election had become more nerve-wracking, all-noise-little-substance low-brow drama and one could take only so much of that. Or we are just ageing while democracy is getting louder and very intrusive in its manifestation.
For the past 6 months, all that reverberated on TV channels as well as newspapers was mostly sheer bunkum, crude name-calling, bombast, brainless accusations and counter-punches. Kaamdaar/ Naamdar, Chowkidar, Chowkidar Chor Hai and the like, multiple variations involving these phrases, threats and counter-threats, unverified numbers, unsubstantiated statements. Unrelenting verbal and print assault helped in just numbing the senses, just like an anesthetic, of all reasonable people. Most of us, at some point, chose to ignore bulk of the garbage, pretending to lead normal lives but it was always there lurking menacingly in the background, trying to muscle in, if we were to open a slit somewhere in a moment of weakness.
That is when the caucus led by my dear wife and constituted with 'democratically' appointed followers like her husband, mother, sister and brother were peremptorily summoned for a session by the `high command'. Even though some of us were dragged to the table screaming and kicking because they wanted no part of any of this. It was unanimously decided in a matter of few minutes that from a common sense and lay-person's perspective, some reforms were absolutely essential in the matter of running elections in India. The following nuggets were fleshed out after quick deliberations.
(1) The maximum campaigning time should be drastically reduced to 7 days for an all-India binge. Any smaller election, like state or metro, should have up to 3 days for campaigning, as mandated by the Election Commission (EC). The biggest rationale is this would force the sensible elected representatives (if such a species exists) to keep talking to the electors more often than once or twice that is the norm now for 5 years. Also, it is impractical and cruel to expect one or two leaders, however portable they are, to criss- cross the country and seek votes. It makes better sense to have multiple, presentable leaders. If parties dont have them ready, they should develop them before the next election, to share the burden. Neither the ruling party nor the opposition can utter a single word about elections or any related subject, before the EC fires the starting gun for the campaign, in a publicly aired ceremony on TV at a pre-scheduled time. And they should faithfully tape up all motor mouths at the time the EC repeats the act with a finishing gun.
(2) During campaigning time, rallies can be held by political parties, regardless of who presides or attends, at only pre-approved venues which are at least 10 kms from the outer periphery of any city or town. Villages and cluster of villages can be used for meetings without too many restrictions because (a) such villages can accommodate more live entertainment (b) political bigwigs do not visit the villages otherwise (c) villages might surreptitiously be spruced up for this purpose and provided with some amenities, which nobody can complain about as these should be welcome any day.
(3) Cruise ships, luxury yachts are liberally permitted for use in the campaign. Obvious reason is this mode can keep a loaded and dishonest politician away from harming people. If someone is struck in a remote corner because of a river or lake suddenly drying up without notice, he/she can continue to provide wholesome fun where they are `marooned'. Nobody should be permitted to travel by helicopters and chartered planes for campaigning because that exposes more people to the crass exhibition of the shameless politicians. Commercial flights, if possible terribly delayed, regular airports without any special facilities or exits, normal road transport combating maximum traffic congestion, minimal security etc should be the norm, so that we see less of this phenomenon. Then we have the dual advantage of politicians learning a wee bit as to how normal people live and benefit from this experience. And people themselves are saved from all the mindless collateral damage that the visiting dignitaries usually impose, including their toxic political speeches and the vociferous sloganeering of their bovine followers.
(4) TV channels should be permitted to air election related news or clips for one hour a day, once in the morning and once in prime time, during the campaign. Only the news anchor or presenter should be on the screen; no debates, no leaders' address, no political pundits (thousands of them sprout during the season like inedible mushrooms and should be definitely kept away, lest they mislead the public). Channels should be compelled to show more of soaps, film-based programmes, old cricket matches, cookery shows and Kaun Banega Crorepati to fill up the void created by election stuff being taken out. Of course, radio stations should be allowed to broadcast within some restrictive parameters; more so, because we do not expect most people to pay attention -- if there is no accompanying picture, people generally ignore that.
(5) All election polling should be completed in one day, regardless of how widespread the election foot-print is. Obviously technology is the only answer and a robust platform should be built for handling all types of elections. If the government has to spend a few billions on this, it must be done, so that repetitive, humongous expense and pain are saved for the country on an ongoing basis. All doubting Thomases, who tend to blame the technology for their defeats -- it is noteworthy that they keep quiet when they win -- can be put inside a cold storage with the proven/generally accepted system, with any and all expert support they can muster, to hack it and prove their point, if they can. This challenge can be held once a year so that all political parties are given an opportunity to test the system periodically, be satisfied and never complain till the next test, unless anyone has some proof of malfunctioning. And, all results should be announced the next day. Over.
(6) Make payment of cash for votes legal. After all this helps people. Every voter in the constituency should get the same amount from all parties, cash for biryani and liquor included, regardless of affiliations. All such payments should be through direct transfers, as being done in the case of subsidies etc. using approved payment channels. The objective here is to make the spoilt voter happy and he is not deprived of the election time bonanza, he is used to. Uniform rate per vote should be determined and announced by all parties. After taking money from everyone, a person should be entitled to vote NOTA (even if he does that only because he thinks he did not get enough money)!
(7) A few words, phrases etc can be banned for the campaign period and no party/TV Channel/Commentator/Newspaper should be permitted to use any of these. This compendium can grow over a period, but we can quickly put something together for the next election. No synonyms/antonyms etc should be allowed. And, no food item, indigenous or foreign, should ever be insulted. There were derogatory remarks about chai, pakoda etc in this election campaign - not to be done.
(8) And exit polls should be banned. Not because they may be right or wrong, but because they bring yet another influx of all kinds of people on TV, masquerading as experts in all matters relating to people and elections, to inflict incremental pain.
It is all well to celebrate this circus called the dance of Indian democracy euphoriously and thump our chests frequently, but the cost of a long, overdrawn, low-brow theatre is untold misery, nothing less and is perfectly avoidable. Look at the benefits of the sparkling suggestions above - no prolonged election mode restrictions on governments, which seldom work anyway and we give them additional excuse for shirking off in the name of compliance. Sure, ban any policy change for one month before elections, but do not create impediment in implementation of approved schemes relating to food, roads and other routine things involving livelihood. That just aggravates people who probably need more support, not less.
Finally, as my dear wife exclaims, once the result is announced all politicians magically undergo transformation and start being civil with each other. Even the ones who were calling each other thieves and imbeciles!
For the past 6 months, all that reverberated on TV channels as well as newspapers was mostly sheer bunkum, crude name-calling, bombast, brainless accusations and counter-punches. Kaamdaar/ Naamdar, Chowkidar, Chowkidar Chor Hai and the like, multiple variations involving these phrases, threats and counter-threats, unverified numbers, unsubstantiated statements. Unrelenting verbal and print assault helped in just numbing the senses, just like an anesthetic, of all reasonable people. Most of us, at some point, chose to ignore bulk of the garbage, pretending to lead normal lives but it was always there lurking menacingly in the background, trying to muscle in, if we were to open a slit somewhere in a moment of weakness.
That is when the caucus led by my dear wife and constituted with 'democratically' appointed followers like her husband, mother, sister and brother were peremptorily summoned for a session by the `high command'. Even though some of us were dragged to the table screaming and kicking because they wanted no part of any of this. It was unanimously decided in a matter of few minutes that from a common sense and lay-person's perspective, some reforms were absolutely essential in the matter of running elections in India. The following nuggets were fleshed out after quick deliberations.
(1) The maximum campaigning time should be drastically reduced to 7 days for an all-India binge. Any smaller election, like state or metro, should have up to 3 days for campaigning, as mandated by the Election Commission (EC). The biggest rationale is this would force the sensible elected representatives (if such a species exists) to keep talking to the electors more often than once or twice that is the norm now for 5 years. Also, it is impractical and cruel to expect one or two leaders, however portable they are, to criss- cross the country and seek votes. It makes better sense to have multiple, presentable leaders. If parties dont have them ready, they should develop them before the next election, to share the burden. Neither the ruling party nor the opposition can utter a single word about elections or any related subject, before the EC fires the starting gun for the campaign, in a publicly aired ceremony on TV at a pre-scheduled time. And they should faithfully tape up all motor mouths at the time the EC repeats the act with a finishing gun.
(2) During campaigning time, rallies can be held by political parties, regardless of who presides or attends, at only pre-approved venues which are at least 10 kms from the outer periphery of any city or town. Villages and cluster of villages can be used for meetings without too many restrictions because (a) such villages can accommodate more live entertainment (b) political bigwigs do not visit the villages otherwise (c) villages might surreptitiously be spruced up for this purpose and provided with some amenities, which nobody can complain about as these should be welcome any day.
(3) Cruise ships, luxury yachts are liberally permitted for use in the campaign. Obvious reason is this mode can keep a loaded and dishonest politician away from harming people. If someone is struck in a remote corner because of a river or lake suddenly drying up without notice, he/she can continue to provide wholesome fun where they are `marooned'. Nobody should be permitted to travel by helicopters and chartered planes for campaigning because that exposes more people to the crass exhibition of the shameless politicians. Commercial flights, if possible terribly delayed, regular airports without any special facilities or exits, normal road transport combating maximum traffic congestion, minimal security etc should be the norm, so that we see less of this phenomenon. Then we have the dual advantage of politicians learning a wee bit as to how normal people live and benefit from this experience. And people themselves are saved from all the mindless collateral damage that the visiting dignitaries usually impose, including their toxic political speeches and the vociferous sloganeering of their bovine followers.
(4) TV channels should be permitted to air election related news or clips for one hour a day, once in the morning and once in prime time, during the campaign. Only the news anchor or presenter should be on the screen; no debates, no leaders' address, no political pundits (thousands of them sprout during the season like inedible mushrooms and should be definitely kept away, lest they mislead the public). Channels should be compelled to show more of soaps, film-based programmes, old cricket matches, cookery shows and Kaun Banega Crorepati to fill up the void created by election stuff being taken out. Of course, radio stations should be allowed to broadcast within some restrictive parameters; more so, because we do not expect most people to pay attention -- if there is no accompanying picture, people generally ignore that.
(5) All election polling should be completed in one day, regardless of how widespread the election foot-print is. Obviously technology is the only answer and a robust platform should be built for handling all types of elections. If the government has to spend a few billions on this, it must be done, so that repetitive, humongous expense and pain are saved for the country on an ongoing basis. All doubting Thomases, who tend to blame the technology for their defeats -- it is noteworthy that they keep quiet when they win -- can be put inside a cold storage with the proven/generally accepted system, with any and all expert support they can muster, to hack it and prove their point, if they can. This challenge can be held once a year so that all political parties are given an opportunity to test the system periodically, be satisfied and never complain till the next test, unless anyone has some proof of malfunctioning. And, all results should be announced the next day. Over.
(6) Make payment of cash for votes legal. After all this helps people. Every voter in the constituency should get the same amount from all parties, cash for biryani and liquor included, regardless of affiliations. All such payments should be through direct transfers, as being done in the case of subsidies etc. using approved payment channels. The objective here is to make the spoilt voter happy and he is not deprived of the election time bonanza, he is used to. Uniform rate per vote should be determined and announced by all parties. After taking money from everyone, a person should be entitled to vote NOTA (even if he does that only because he thinks he did not get enough money)!
(7) A few words, phrases etc can be banned for the campaign period and no party/TV Channel/Commentator/Newspaper should be permitted to use any of these. This compendium can grow over a period, but we can quickly put something together for the next election. No synonyms/antonyms etc should be allowed. And, no food item, indigenous or foreign, should ever be insulted. There were derogatory remarks about chai, pakoda etc in this election campaign - not to be done.
(8) And exit polls should be banned. Not because they may be right or wrong, but because they bring yet another influx of all kinds of people on TV, masquerading as experts in all matters relating to people and elections, to inflict incremental pain.
It is all well to celebrate this circus called the dance of Indian democracy euphoriously and thump our chests frequently, but the cost of a long, overdrawn, low-brow theatre is untold misery, nothing less and is perfectly avoidable. Look at the benefits of the sparkling suggestions above - no prolonged election mode restrictions on governments, which seldom work anyway and we give them additional excuse for shirking off in the name of compliance. Sure, ban any policy change for one month before elections, but do not create impediment in implementation of approved schemes relating to food, roads and other routine things involving livelihood. That just aggravates people who probably need more support, not less.
Finally, as my dear wife exclaims, once the result is announced all politicians magically undergo transformation and start being civil with each other. Even the ones who were calling each other thieves and imbeciles!
