With due apologies to the senior citizens group, let me submit this piece is not a derisive critique of their ways. Simply because I am myself an integral part of that group and indulge in this characteristic behaviour intermittently. While this may be amusing on the one hand, causing some mirth at the expense of the elders, it is an effort to clarify that it is but inevitable that one's mind and body expeirences have to form a substantive part of one's conversations and they do, for the seniors. So, if there are afflictions that bother elders - unfortunately, that is the way of life for most - naturally it follows that they tend to be expressive of that. This piece is to shine some light on this behaviour and see if some changes can be implemented to ensure that as a group, we do not put off others and make them shy away from our attempts at conversations.
When youngsters meet they raucuously discuss cricket or loud music or some new restuarant or yes, girls. But when elders congregate, especially on occasions like wedding or similar social occasions which do not demand their undivided attention (it is true that very few are gripping enough to do that), conversations invariably meander and end up in the domain of health issues. Why? Because those are much more real and present than any other thing in the current lives of most seniors. They might start with some old film song or playback singer, touch upon a recently deceased cricketer of the 1970s, progress to how life was easier during their youth which has receded inexorably back into the far corners of memory and then after a lull in the conversation, the question invariably pops up `by the way, how is your knee'or 'how is your diabetes' or `is the prostate okay'? That is like a match shown to a few pieces of camphor.
There are two types of responses to the above query, depending on the personality of the individual. If he/she is a somewhat private, taciturn person, the reply would be almost terse; like `oh, its okay, am carrying on with that God's gift'. Then they make it clear that they would rather not plunge further into that topic. Then there is the other type, the loquacious, starved-for-conversation, self indulgent person, who pounces on any such opening and seizes the opportunity like a seal snatching fish from the hands of the reluctant trainer. It is almost as if he/she has been waiting on the fringes, sniffing for something like this to pop up. He/she barges in to open the flood-gates and start `sharing' all that research he/she has done on knees in general and meniscus tear, wearing out of cartilage, orthoscopic surgery vs knee replacement and whatever else is published on related subjects. This person is so evolved on the subject and involved with such intensity, nobody else can get in edgeways even to say three words together. Such a person invariably is also a good story-teller and this combination in deadly in terms of attracting audience.
Everyone has knees and in old age knees also mean niggles to pain, so relating to what is being expounded is easy. This means all those in the vicinity, who were listlessly mumbling meaningless platitudes, tend to hear the high decibel exposition on 'knees' and are drawn to it like moths to the flame. Soon the number of participants increases and what you have are multi-layered circles of enthusiastic people, pretty much like the multiple ripples caused by a stone in water. Very soon, what is on the table is a cornucopia of medical information about knees and all problems related to them, including leading doctors who do this or that, all kinds of knee support systems like caps, braces and wheelchairs. Also thrown in are the most efficacious medication available. But generally it would be foolish to expect some agreement on anything regarding this, not the doctors, not the tablets, or anything else since for each problem there are about fifty `best' doctors and about seventy six `super' medicines. Of course, there are a couple of guys who have no problem with knees but have ulcers or migraine and they feel pathetically left out in the cold during this effusive display. They wince, start circulating more aggressively, wistfully looking out for another forum, where their ailment might be the hot topic. But `knees' as a topic of conversation is a big hit amongst seniors anywhere, one can wager a hefty amount.
Some sufferers would plunge into graphic description of all the issues they face and might make it impossible to even look at the wedding meal one has been waiting for. These people do not care about aesthetics or finesse and go on and on about the minutest details of the impairments they carry in their bodies and their impact. In their fervour, such people do not realise that others might be revulsed by their intimate exposition. Then experience says that one sensible octaogenarian will materialise from somewhere, to hobble in and shut the whole thing down with a few stern, choice utterances to the hyped up blabberer, to the relief of the listeners. It is easy to empathize with the elders and the tendency to talk about health issues amongst others. But my preference is for those who do this subtly, imparting knowledge, broadcasting useful titbits without taking a large ladle, plunging it into the mess and stirring violently. Not done, you will agree? My dear wife has her own strong views; she thinks all discussions on the subject of seniors' problems should be banned officially and eschewed consciously by everyone, in the interests of overall mental wellbeing of seniors themselves.
I hear from time to time of an eighty-five yeard old woman running a marathon and a ninety six year old man doing triathalon. I have not been blessed enough to see any such person, but I am sure there exists a sprinkling of such people in reality. It would be nice to have a formula to get to such a healthy mix of old age and fitness. But how many succeed, despite sustained efforts? I recall T S Eliot's `The Waste Land' and the sibyl. This sibyl desired to live for ever and prayed for that and some mischievous God granted her that wish. As years pass, she realised she was shrinking in size and had to be eventually put into a cage to protect her from being trampled by somebody. So, longevity in life is good, but what should be a necessary accompaniment is resonably good health. God has built our bodies for, say, sixty years and from the sixty first, He blesses us with minor, major malaises, watching from the sidelines with His inscrutable smile. I wish elders could make a collective, persuasive representation to God for a more even distribution - mix of longevity and good health for X years.
But then, if this boon is granted to us, what will the seniors discuss on future social occasions? Probably the disproportionate allocation of the two components for some of them??
