Seven years back, after I had relinquished all my part time consulting assignments and became truly unemployed and retired, a friend visited me to check on how I was faring. He figured that having been active for so long, without the crutch of some professional work I would be entirely out of depth in the new situation or at least suffering from severe sense of alienation. I told him I was doing fine and did not have so much spare time to be afflicted by withdrawal symptoms or to worry about depression. He looked at me disbelievingly as if I was sprouting a few horns on my chin even as he was looking. I could understand why, because he went through a terrible phase after his own retirement, trying to cope with all the time he had on hand and a relentlessly nagging spouse. He did not realise earlier that what he had to eventualy confront post-retirement, was that deadly cocktail; did not prepare for it and failed miserably to cope, culminating in intense depression for the first year, which got marginally better when he devised the solution of staying at home minimally until evening. Sad way to end up. The fundamental problem was that he was one of those workaholics, who did nothing but work in the office, work at home and work elsewhere; went into a tizzy when he had no office work to do. Could not speak a few sentences cogently about anything other than work, while he could wax eloquent on work related stuff. He did not foresee the need to develop some hobby/hobbies to bail him out when he would have no work to immerse in. He was nice enough to check on me when I retired and he was astonished to see that I was sane and happy. The major difference was that I had adequate cover in terms of multiple hobbies to take refuge in.
But then I have seen many friends attempting bravely to start developing hobbies after retirement. While this is commendable and necessary, at the ripe old age of sixty or so, boarding that ship is not easy. I am not saying it is impossible because many enterprising retirees have flourished in new hobbies, to live happily and guide others too. But, having to learn something completely different from life-time of work is, well, like Javed Jaffrey so masterfully said decades back, Maggi Sweet And Sour Sauce -- Different!! And quite a few could not handle the pitfalls and the effort involved. Given that, it is also very important to be judicious about the choice of the hobby one goes for, late in life.
One friend's choice was away from the beaten path - cooking. His wife had fed him most of his life with excellent fare since she was a great cook. He had inadvertently, despite himself, imbibed some of the skills during emergency situations which arose and handled things pretty well, to the satisfaction of the boss-at-home. So, after retirement, he asked his wife to give him some space in the kitchen to experiment with his own culinary skills and she gladly moved aside. He was himself surprised by the good quality of the stuff he was turning out and the wife did her bit tohelp him and augment the taste as well as presentation. What started as a hobby soon became a commercial propostion. He began supplying food to the neighbourhood and in no time at all, established himself and the wife as good chefs, delivering excellent quality. They are reasonably busy with the venture and make good profits too with their hobby, nay, new profession.
But the above is not the norm and not everybody is so fortunate. A couple of other friends who wandered into the cooking arena for passing time, got scalded literally and metophorically. Their scars showed for a long time to come. For, even a hobby requires certain amount of commitment and skills. Cooking is not for everyone, contrary to eating (which anyone can do well, generally), even though they are allied spheres. If one is the kind who cannot distinguish between sauteeing, shallow frying and deep frying or tell the difference between toor dal and chana dal, one is destined to be a non-starter in the cooking arena, even for a hobby. Some intense, belaboured trials by aspiring friends have tragically ended up with heart-breaking results, as in the case of top class brick-quality idlis which could have been used as deadly ammunition in a war; or a benumbingly salty and ferociously spicy curry unintentionally produced due to a sad mix-up in measurement of spices. Of course, one can learn and climb up the ladder but most people don't even get a footing on the second step. Funnily, it looks one basic qualification for a person to be a decent cook is that he should invariably enjoy what he eats. This comes from some veteran ladies, who have cooked for decades and enthralled multitudes with what they turn out impeccably. Despite this, a lot of us good eaters will never be decent cooks, I believe. The classic difference between consumers and producers.
Gardening is another favourite of retirees. Some have done wonderfully well in turning mud patches at home into green oases but not everyone is so lucky. One chap, over a period of 8 months, emptied half of his neighbourhood nurseries into his backyard and sizable bank balance into the nurserys' accounts in his fruitless attempts to grow something, anything, green. For some reason, anything he planted remained green precisely for 17-22 days and never beyond that. Most of them failed to co-operate and committed suicide very early. Plants, leaves, etc shrivelled relentlessly and breathed their last right under his nose. The half baked gardener of his encouraged him to buy more new plants as the solution to his ills (as is normal, he probably had a cut in the nursery's invoice value) without changing anything else in the process and our hobby-seeker was too desperate to be questioning. Someone told this chap he had a red thumb as against a green one and the suffering intern did not take that kindly. The explanation for the disastrous results was always that he had been too generous with water for the plants or there was not enough sunlight or the plants needed more or less fertilizer than was supplied. A precise and pointed reason was never given and the man's hobby died with the last set of plants when his fuming wife ran the riot act to him to cease and desist.
Photography could have been an attractive option ten years or so back but now every three year old kid shoots good photos with the mobile. Unless the effort is to become a professional photographer, there is little sense in moving away from a good mobile phone for photos. At least one is saved the agony of watching some unidentifiable lump turn up on the screen of the camera and one cannot explain what it could be. The serious cameras require a lot of understanding, tuning and syncronization before a good picture can be shot and the learning process can be quite arduous. When the mobile phone is looming as a ready alternative, very few go the other way and so, photography may not be a popular hobby any longer, Except when one is a mindless shooter of snaps on mobile phones for laods of sharing with the sole intent to persecute them daily.
Some people have gone into music. Either vocal or some instrument. `When I was young, I always wanted to be a musician' is their standard but eager tagline. Again, this is like cooking. One has to have some basic gift in terms of the sense of music as well as a good voice to be a reasonably good singer. For some inexplicable reason, what the whole world realises instantly on listening to their first attempt, our musician is just unable to see or hear -- that music is not his or her cuppa. Armed with videos of their attempts at amateur singing and the sharing apps, he/see enthusiastically sends the productions to friends and relatives, who suffer silently for fear of hurting the poor fellow with honest feedback. While some graduate to a higher level eventually, most of them stubbornly remain rooted to where they have been for years, but not giving up. God bless their perseverance and efforts.
All the above goes back to what I was saying earlier - that hobbies probably should be developed much early in life, when one has the time, energy and ability to overcome issues. Later in life, simple things become a struggle.
My dear wife is chipping in with her wisdom. According to her, the one thing that retirees can and should learn even late is to deal with small kids. Eventually this comes in handy when you are expected to baby-sit or otherwise deal with grandchildren. This may not be an enjoyable pastime for many but is practically useful as many would vouch and helps in developing harmony at home, pleasing the progeny and scoring brownie points overall. As usual, I am with her on this, one hundred percent!
