How often have you admired Saurav Ganguly's cover drive? And thought that he executes that more exquisitely than Dravid and Tendulkar? I know I am not the only one to think that. Even though, technically there may not be any difference in the way the three greats played that shot and all of them were flawless with that. So, then why that feeling that Saurav did it better?? The simple truth is it is only because his was a left hander's cover drive and the other two were right handers. Am not being frivolous about it. We are so used to seeing right handed batsmen wading into their shots, once a good leftie steps in, we think he is much more delightful to watch, his shots are more fluid and he does it, well, better. It is just a case of the opposite attracting you. When the field is full of right handers, an occasional leftie seems more attractive. Plain and simple.
That was a good example of why opposites attract. When someone marches into the scene and seems very different, even odd, compared to the bunch one has always known or moved with, an immediate superficial interest is ignited, without too much personal effort from the new comer. Only because, like Maggi sweet and sour sauce, s/he is different. Curiosity is piqued by the `strangeness' factor and where it proceeds from curiosity depends entirely on the individuals involved.
Let us look at the physical aspects of such attraction. A tall person does not necessarily go looking for a short one to be the partner I think. A six-foot-two-inch man marrying (or dating) a five-foot-nothing woman is nothing outrageous or rare. You see such combinations frequently. Even if the woman has to whisper something to her partner, she will have to climb a few steps up the man to accomplish that feat. Similarly if the man wants to plant a peck on the cheek of his woman, he has to show considerable humility through a significant bend. The man can probably cover two and a half steps of the woman with his single stride and this inequality is not without its own problem. Left to their natural strides, the man might leave his lady way behind when he reaches the destination much faster and the lady is not going to be amused by that. Unless of course, one of them changes the normal stride - either the lady accelerates herself huffing and puffing; or the man drops his speed to a first gear waddle to be in line with his lady. Of course, the physical aspect alone would not have forged the connection initially in such cases, there would have been other personality traits which come into play. But, the fact remains that neither the man or the lady was wondering how s/he would cope with the above and other similar myriad issues that might crop up in their life together. Or, may be they did and thought nothing of these things because of instant attraction!
One of the primary reasons why Laurel and Hardy always scored in their hilarious shows is the physical size of the two in relation to each other. One instance of how the bulky and the reedy work well in a partnership. But is that workable in a marital scene? Not sure. There could be many reasons why such a marraige could come about, without either of them fancying the other one initially. Also, some people tend to `blossom' liberally in life and bloat whereas the other one can shrink despite being a glutton. What could have begun as a normal match-making decision could have gone out of shape literally due to extraneous reasons, like harmonal problems. So, most of such combinations would probably be due to people accepting the cards they have been dealt with rather than actively selecting `attractive' opposites.
How about a voluble, incessant talker of a wife and a silent, monk-like husband? We have come across many such. This works well probably because one is a talker and another is a listener (may be he does not pay attention at all, but is a pretender non-pareil). The garrulous and boisterous woman goes about filling the ears of all those present on every social occasion, whereas the reticent man, whose mouth may have to be forced open violently even for a morsel of food, seldom utters a syllable to anybody. While it is possible that the woman chose her partner calculatedly, paying attention to his being her opposite in this aspect, one cannot imagine a man willingly walking into a deadly trap like that. But there are men who like to be bossed over (one cannot imagine why, but there are) and it is highly likely that this man unconditionally surrendered to the booming lady in their first meeting! Opposites attracting each other?? Possible, but the marvel is that the relationship endures in many cases (typically the husband does not dare act even if he hates his plight) with the parties staying true to their characteristics. The guess is that the man gets so completely subjugated after some time he probably does not even care and develops complete indifference.
An-angry-man-and-a-submissive-woman template is something very common. Temperamentally the two people cannot be more antithetical and are yet together. Probably because their parents cynically decided they are good for each other for some strange reason. But there is no doubt that the lady who suffers through torrents of angry outbursts day in and day out would not have fallen for the `opposite' trait in the man. How can anybody?? Unless there is a strong streak of masochism in the lady and she liked being ridden roughshod all her life. This serves to tell us that all such `opposites' together are not attracted to each other, but many are compelled into partnerships and decide to just painfully tolerate the show. Truer of the previous generations than to-day's youngsters, who work with very different yard-sticks when they decide to marry.
If both partners are very alike in their appraoch to life, likes and dislikes how would existence be? Could be seen either as very peaceful or boring, depending on who you talk to. This combination is a rarity, I think. It could be the external manifestation or masking of the angry-and-the-submissive relationship, wherein one always is acquiecing so that friction is avoided at all costs and a display of false harmony is what others see.
So, in balance, I am not sure this theory of opposites attracting will hold good everywhere. My dear wife strongly agrees and believes that in every marriage one person tends to be a bit stronger such that firm decisions are taken as they should be without too much blood-spill and use of bulldozers. I refuse to say who takes the firm decisions in our home!!
