The Supreme Court in India is suddenly waking up and sounding the bugle against this reckless habit of political parties prior to elections - of declaring how they would enrich voters with freebies of various types and denominations, if they are voted to power. Reckless simply because basic financial wisdom dictates that such munificence at the expense of the exchequer should be curbed and wound back. Political parties are bristling at this brazen intervention of judiciary in legislature related issue. Because they staunchly believe it is their constitutional prerogative to make suckers out of voters whenever elections are announced and courts should not interfere, but just watch the sorry spectacle. Voters are offended because they do not mind those freebies and enjoy making the politicians look like idiots when they take all the goodies and vote according to their whim anyway, swiping the kickbacks away from the equation. Honest taxpayers are pricked since it is their hard earned money paid as taxes, which is used to fund the freebies when huge quantum of developmental work suffers for want of funds. But, to be fair, who does not mind freebies? Take the example of all the discounts, coupons and cash-backs that people gleefully accept from e-commerce platforms and the like. What are they? The saving grace is that this set is not funded by taxpayer's money but by mindlessly valuation-driven moneybags and that charade goes on all through the year, not only for a specific period. If you look askance at that one difference, the entire population is guilty of savouring the freebies doled out perennially.
With that preamble, let us see how innovative politicians can get with the freebies, assuming the supreme court is rendered powerless to stop this pestilence too, just as it has happened with many other malpractices in our country. Nobody is taken in by the righteous and shrill objections from parties that spending on health care, education etc cannot be seen as freebies, because these are not the prickly issues in this practice and there can be no objection to those. Problem is that genuine welfare expenses covering all the people as in the case of health and education can and do very easily, seamlessly merge with all kinds of flaky stuff like TVs, grinders, saris, shirts etc and here lies the rub. If free cycles for girls going to school are justified, why not scooters for the parents to ferry the children to school and back? With their well articulated mastery over specious arguments, political parties can rationalise any freebie, so long as some part of the public benefits. So, let us not look for any rationale or vindication in this article and just imagine what all can be included in freebies and how. All in good humour, so that no one takes serious umbrage.
Liquor is mammoth and serious business and most governments are involved in it - some even manufacturing and distributing the potions. Liquor sales are one of the biggest tax generators for state governments and all those people who cry foul about price rise do not bat an eye lid before jostling a crowd in sweltering heat to get their tipple, whatever the cost. So, how about providing free stored value cards for stated amounts, valid for a year from the date of issue (after a government takes charge), so that voting population can enjoy their favourite drink and pay using the card. The vends will collect taxes on the sales and channel that booty to the government. So, the shrewd and well-meaning government gets to recoup at least some of the investment in this freebie. Why is this a worthwhile benefit? The perpetually harassed housewives can be free from the uncouth and testy behaviour of half-drunk husbands who are frustrated because they cannot be fully inebriated, at least for a few days and the resultant relief is a good reason for them to vote for the party in elections. Winners all around; party gets to power, husbands get additional bottles of liquor free, wives are relieved somewhat and government gets to rake in tax. Of course, the liquor business is a GDP booster and employment creator, to boot.
Just to be even handed, the next freebie to be considered is free cable TV connections to the homes of voters. This could be a big welfare measure because it benefits the ladies at home, who diligently watch all the soaps and movies aired throughout the evening spellbound, ignoring the drunk husbands and pestering children. The husbands are also probably happy because they do not have to listen to the raves and rants of women at home, even as they are passing out. Older children are pleased to be left alone, able to indulge in their gadgets for a few hours without anyone looking over their shoulder. Something which makes for a relatively peaceful home environment with very few complaints - except from those who are not serious drinkers and those who are averse to TV and of course the angry tax payer.
Next is something for the young voter and older children. Another stored value card for fixed amount to be used for mobile phone recharges. Obviously this is supporting education in times of covid and allied maladies, since children are using mobile phones to attend classes. Of course this measure makes for addiction to mobiles and all the video games they offer, but then what is a bit of collateral damage when overall development of the child is being facilitated. Some political parties may even want to give free mobile phones to school and college children to let academics flourish in the states.
Subsidised subscriptions to specific newspapers which are party organs or at least friendly to the party/government could be another freebie. All those people who choose to successfully evade the propagandistic outpouring on the TV stations owned by the political parties, can be targeted through this medium. Of course, there will be accusations, rightly so, of such an arrangement benefiting the party directly, but then this will not be the first or last in that line. All the party has to do is to hold a massive protest on a working day, in a highly congested central business district, blocking all traffic and making outrageous counter complaints against all those accusers. People tend to forget these things easily.
The final recommendation my dear wife has is for free outpatient treatment in all major hospitals given to those who are involved in accidents caused by pot-holed roads and knee-high speed bumps. This will be a big hit, in places like Bangalore, where progressively there are more and more potholes and speed breakers and less of clear roads. If you thought you are an experienced and careful rider and could successfully negotiate all pot-holes, the next speed bump will get you. With traffic at about 15 kmph even in non-peak hours, why there is such a multiplicity of speed breakers in every stretch of road is a legitimate question, but then who is listening? With accidents increasing year on year in proportion to pot-holes and speed bumps, it looks like this is a genuine welfare measure and people would lap it up.
Not being a politician, this writer is not able to delve deep into the bag of freebies that parties might have already filled up. So, we shall await the turn of the experts to unleash their talents to snare the voters!
