Euphoria should have been apparent in me when my phone company sent the ubiquitous sms, victorious in celebrating the resolution of my complaint. Euphoria, because they took a month to deal with what was, in my opinion, an absolutely asinine situation wherein my internet was working but my fixed line, which was a prerequisite for the internet connection, was not!! But, unbeknown to the service provider, my reaction was one of anger and astonishment. Why?? Simply because nothing much had changed and my phone was stubbornly refusing to be the enabler of communication it was supposed to be. The petulant voice of the Voice Response System repeatedly and indifferently informed whoever cared to listen that both outgoing and incoming calls from/to the number were barred.
Unwittingly, two months earlier I had sowed the seeds of the problem, which had come to haunt me now. When we were going away from home for an extended period, I had asked for the number to be placed in an invitingly named facility called `Safe Deposit'. The service screamed out to me: `Hey, leave things with me and everything will be hunky dory when you want them back'. When I had paid the charges for this in advance after filling a form, I specifically demanded to know whether I had to fill another form for reactivation. I was being guided by past experience, when I was forced to travel 22 kms to sign a sparsely worded form to resuscitate some other service. This representative looked at me exactly like a Six Sigma black belt would look at a certified moron and condescendingly explained that another form would be a waste of time, wouldn't it be, sir?? Any novice, wet behind the ears, would have been misled to believe that customer service in India was improving in texture by leaps and bounds. When we returned home after a prolonged trip, we found that internet was working on the designated date but the phone line was not. I did not realise that the `safe deposit' they advertised and I fell for did mean returning of things to you when you wanted, but not necessarily in working order!! Thus began my tryst with the customer service function of the phone company, which was going to provide me with one month of non-stop entertainment in many ways.
I began by calling the given number and baring my soul regarding the issue. Without even pausing for breath, the omniscient representative pleasantly said `sir, you may not have paid your bill'. That was pretty thick indeed, as an initial response to a peeved customer! I asked the lady whether she was sitting a-la-hermit in some Himalayan cave, without access to my account. Couldn't she look at the screen in front of her to see what the position is?? Oh yes, she said and after a break gleefully announced `sir, you have a credit balance for this line'! Actually the tone suggested that I lacked basic intelligence to be leaving money on the table for a fixed line. So, now, why was the phone not working?? She probed for another minute and triumphantly diagnosed that the line was barred. Despite the entertainment value of such a conversation with someone who seemed to have a lot of time at her disposal, I testily said `yes that is indeed the problem, I am looking for a solution'. She scratched around for a few more minutes and then finally did what all these people have been trained to do - sound the death-knell to customer service by handing out to you a complaint number, while emphatically declaring that the problem would be resolved in the next four hours. Just to ensure that the customer's transactional experience is enhanced even further and he smiled in the midst of all these trials and tribulations, a message arrived on my registered email address, restating that `your complaint will be resolved in four hours, that is, by 2:22:46 (the last two numbers denoting `seconds') pm on August 16th of 2011!! I was floored; one does not quarrel with that kind of precision!
After the lapse of 24 hours, the stony status quo was well-preserved and my moribund phone connection gave the impression of having lapsed deeper into coma. I decided to resume my enjoyable conversation with the customer service rep. This time a male of the species took my complaint number and details and probably scrutinized the unyielding screen in front of him for some clue before telling me `but your problem should have been resolved yesterday'. Such unshakeable faith in their own system of problem resolution was very heartening, but I bristled with that heavy dose of salt on the open and throbbing wound. I assured him I had better things to do than chatting with him if I had no problem. He put me on a hold and probably had a chat on the evening's possibilities with his neighbour before coming back to me. Then he did what I believe is a master stroke in the way all these service providers monitor their outstanding complaints. He casually told me he has registered the complaint again and here is the new complaint number. A brand new complaint number for you to be so pleased, sir!! Attaboy, had I discovered the most efficient complaint resolution process devised by companies? The ingenuity of the simple mechanism used to keep the slate squeaky-clean was breathtaking, to say the least. Just close the aged and unresolved complaints and log new ones as outstanding for less than the desired length of time? Again, I was given the morale-boosting 4-hour time-limit hogwash and a message followed with the second-specific deadline, by which time one could say 'God is in his heaven and all is well with my phone'.
To cut a long story short, the above rigmarole played out for long and I had some 15 complaint numbers given to me over the next 25 days. I am sure their own system deliberately omits any linkage among all these complaint numbers, for obvious reasons. Somewhere between the 7th and 8th complaint, I asked for the supervisor and made her listen to my tale of woe, which was brimming over. She came up with a startlingly new one - `sir, you should visit an outlet and give a letter for us to reactivate the service, have you'?? When I protested that their own people had confirmed that no further written instruction was necessary since the end date of the `safe deposit' service was already agreed upon in writing, she said brightly `sir, that is not the procedure our department follows'. This is another regular ploy used by service providers - all their internal compartmentalization comes into effective play and it is deemed to be your good fortune to be dealing with multiple stonewalling departments to resolve an issue. I refused to budge and told her to get things done or lose my custom (a fairly sizeable business for an individual, what with 3 mobile phones, fixed line and broadband) and she did not like that kind of a threat one bit, simply because now she had to do something! Her assurance that she would treat my case as a special one and get the needful done predictably did not translate into any life-giving potion for my phone and it happily continued its dormant status. Multiple visits by technicians ensued and hushed discussions amongst experts followed (a casual observer would have thought my personal nuclear reactor had sprung a leak and these guys were trying to fix it, without creating panic in the community!) in and around my house, while the phone continued to be comatose!
When I had enough of this entertaining charade, I got the number of the person responsible for fixed line phone business in Bangalore and called him on a Saturday at 5 pm. He listened to me and gave me the number of his Customer Services Head, with a very polite request I call the other gentleman on Monday morning. What about the fact that I have been without service for 30 days and had spent about 5 hours in talking to various reps of his company?? He said he understood, but the Customer Services Head would not be available till Monday morning.
I called on Monday; the problem was indeed resolved in 4 hours. My demand for an explanation as to why
that took 30 days to do, elicited a cute reply `Sir, I shall call you and explain'. That was about 15 days ago and I am still waiting for elucidation. Now, the next chapter of this story is playing out - I have sought refund of charges for the period the fixed line was not functional. I hope this one gets resolved in the next year or so, because by then I will have to (shudder!!) go through the safe deposit route again. God bless me!
If you think that took the cake, listen to this - another bathroom fittings company gave me a complaint number for a problem and said their representative would come around the next day. Two days later, I got an sms `Thanks for contacting us. We are happy to inform you that your problem has been resolved and the complaint closed'. That was phenomenal, how did they resolve complaints remotely, without anyone ever even looking at what the problem was!! When I asked them to explain that conundrum to me, they promptly tried to give me a new complaint number!!
Another puzzle in this whole process is that after many futile and nerve-wracking interactions one gets an sms asking for a rating for the transactional experience one had gone through! Generally, I am usually lost for words and do not respond.
I am wondering whether Customer Service should rather be `Complaints Service'?? Worth suggesting, I think.
Unwittingly, two months earlier I had sowed the seeds of the problem, which had come to haunt me now. When we were going away from home for an extended period, I had asked for the number to be placed in an invitingly named facility called `Safe Deposit'. The service screamed out to me: `Hey, leave things with me and everything will be hunky dory when you want them back'. When I had paid the charges for this in advance after filling a form, I specifically demanded to know whether I had to fill another form for reactivation. I was being guided by past experience, when I was forced to travel 22 kms to sign a sparsely worded form to resuscitate some other service. This representative looked at me exactly like a Six Sigma black belt would look at a certified moron and condescendingly explained that another form would be a waste of time, wouldn't it be, sir?? Any novice, wet behind the ears, would have been misled to believe that customer service in India was improving in texture by leaps and bounds. When we returned home after a prolonged trip, we found that internet was working on the designated date but the phone line was not. I did not realise that the `safe deposit' they advertised and I fell for did mean returning of things to you when you wanted, but not necessarily in working order!! Thus began my tryst with the customer service function of the phone company, which was going to provide me with one month of non-stop entertainment in many ways.
I began by calling the given number and baring my soul regarding the issue. Without even pausing for breath, the omniscient representative pleasantly said `sir, you may not have paid your bill'. That was pretty thick indeed, as an initial response to a peeved customer! I asked the lady whether she was sitting a-la-hermit in some Himalayan cave, without access to my account. Couldn't she look at the screen in front of her to see what the position is?? Oh yes, she said and after a break gleefully announced `sir, you have a credit balance for this line'! Actually the tone suggested that I lacked basic intelligence to be leaving money on the table for a fixed line. So, now, why was the phone not working?? She probed for another minute and triumphantly diagnosed that the line was barred. Despite the entertainment value of such a conversation with someone who seemed to have a lot of time at her disposal, I testily said `yes that is indeed the problem, I am looking for a solution'. She scratched around for a few more minutes and then finally did what all these people have been trained to do - sound the death-knell to customer service by handing out to you a complaint number, while emphatically declaring that the problem would be resolved in the next four hours. Just to ensure that the customer's transactional experience is enhanced even further and he smiled in the midst of all these trials and tribulations, a message arrived on my registered email address, restating that `your complaint will be resolved in four hours, that is, by 2:22:46 (the last two numbers denoting `seconds') pm on August 16th of 2011!! I was floored; one does not quarrel with that kind of precision!
After the lapse of 24 hours, the stony status quo was well-preserved and my moribund phone connection gave the impression of having lapsed deeper into coma. I decided to resume my enjoyable conversation with the customer service rep. This time a male of the species took my complaint number and details and probably scrutinized the unyielding screen in front of him for some clue before telling me `but your problem should have been resolved yesterday'. Such unshakeable faith in their own system of problem resolution was very heartening, but I bristled with that heavy dose of salt on the open and throbbing wound. I assured him I had better things to do than chatting with him if I had no problem. He put me on a hold and probably had a chat on the evening's possibilities with his neighbour before coming back to me. Then he did what I believe is a master stroke in the way all these service providers monitor their outstanding complaints. He casually told me he has registered the complaint again and here is the new complaint number. A brand new complaint number for you to be so pleased, sir!! Attaboy, had I discovered the most efficient complaint resolution process devised by companies? The ingenuity of the simple mechanism used to keep the slate squeaky-clean was breathtaking, to say the least. Just close the aged and unresolved complaints and log new ones as outstanding for less than the desired length of time? Again, I was given the morale-boosting 4-hour time-limit hogwash and a message followed with the second-specific deadline, by which time one could say 'God is in his heaven and all is well with my phone'.
To cut a long story short, the above rigmarole played out for long and I had some 15 complaint numbers given to me over the next 25 days. I am sure their own system deliberately omits any linkage among all these complaint numbers, for obvious reasons. Somewhere between the 7th and 8th complaint, I asked for the supervisor and made her listen to my tale of woe, which was brimming over. She came up with a startlingly new one - `sir, you should visit an outlet and give a letter for us to reactivate the service, have you'?? When I protested that their own people had confirmed that no further written instruction was necessary since the end date of the `safe deposit' service was already agreed upon in writing, she said brightly `sir, that is not the procedure our department follows'. This is another regular ploy used by service providers - all their internal compartmentalization comes into effective play and it is deemed to be your good fortune to be dealing with multiple stonewalling departments to resolve an issue. I refused to budge and told her to get things done or lose my custom (a fairly sizeable business for an individual, what with 3 mobile phones, fixed line and broadband) and she did not like that kind of a threat one bit, simply because now she had to do something! Her assurance that she would treat my case as a special one and get the needful done predictably did not translate into any life-giving potion for my phone and it happily continued its dormant status. Multiple visits by technicians ensued and hushed discussions amongst experts followed (a casual observer would have thought my personal nuclear reactor had sprung a leak and these guys were trying to fix it, without creating panic in the community!) in and around my house, while the phone continued to be comatose!
When I had enough of this entertaining charade, I got the number of the person responsible for fixed line phone business in Bangalore and called him on a Saturday at 5 pm. He listened to me and gave me the number of his Customer Services Head, with a very polite request I call the other gentleman on Monday morning. What about the fact that I have been without service for 30 days and had spent about 5 hours in talking to various reps of his company?? He said he understood, but the Customer Services Head would not be available till Monday morning.
I called on Monday; the problem was indeed resolved in 4 hours. My demand for an explanation as to why
that took 30 days to do, elicited a cute reply `Sir, I shall call you and explain'. That was about 15 days ago and I am still waiting for elucidation. Now, the next chapter of this story is playing out - I have sought refund of charges for the period the fixed line was not functional. I hope this one gets resolved in the next year or so, because by then I will have to (shudder!!) go through the safe deposit route again. God bless me!
If you think that took the cake, listen to this - another bathroom fittings company gave me a complaint number for a problem and said their representative would come around the next day. Two days later, I got an sms `Thanks for contacting us. We are happy to inform you that your problem has been resolved and the complaint closed'. That was phenomenal, how did they resolve complaints remotely, without anyone ever even looking at what the problem was!! When I asked them to explain that conundrum to me, they promptly tried to give me a new complaint number!!
Another puzzle in this whole process is that after many futile and nerve-wracking interactions one gets an sms asking for a rating for the transactional experience one had gone through! Generally, I am usually lost for words and do not respond.
I am wondering whether Customer Service should rather be `Complaints Service'?? Worth suggesting, I think.
3 comments:
Very good post Varad san.
Yes, because they measure the metric
there is an incentive to close independent of the fact if it is resolved or not.
Hmm at least your story seems to be closed.
I still have the C#s running.
One more interesting thing is that they would also call you if you reply "NO" in sms indicating you not satisfied. Later, I think, after the call, they would close it as "resolved".
Even now, I get mails but cannot respond from bberry and after a month.... they are still shameless to say there is no problem from the service provider side!
Welcome to the world of dummy services
regards
madhu
Horrific experience indeed ! Welcome to the world of outsourcing
Hilarious for 'us' to read! There are many lessons here, which a local knows by instinct. I was witness to the conversation between an angry member of a club and the staff! The person at the other end put the phone down.
Another member who was also present had this to say 'You can shout and call them names in their own language and they will keep quiet, but if you use English with an accent they react differently'.
The way, as you discovered, is to go up the ladder, highest the best! Sooner the better!
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