Group Activities!!

In today's hyper-analytical world, if a child of 5 years wanders six feet away from his/her playgroup in school, to enthusiastically explore something harmless which has attracted his/her attention, that may probably be taboo.  If the trend continues even intermittently, school teachers and child psychologists would label the kid a loner, non-conformist or worse, because he/she chose to break away from group activity.  The alarm expressed by these worthies may even be thinly justified, given the proclivity of even smaller children to get severely glued to some, any, kind of screen very early in life, avoiding social contacts to a large extent.  So, the prognosis is why accentuate that tendency by letting the child exhibit unnecessary `individuality' while in the mix of other kids in a group. To remedy the nebulous issue, modern day parenting may complusively kick into the exaggeratedly protective gear, scheduling counselling sessions for the child, visiting psychiatrists etc so that he/she grows up as a good team-player or at a minimum does not turn out to be a sociapth.  So, there is much more emphasis on group activities even in the early stages of a kid's life nowadays.  One presumes that is the reason for the pregnant women being persuaded to do group aerobics, group yoga etc so that from the foetus state, the child is nudged to be part of groups. Even a group of two is infinitely better being singularly alone-- that is the motivation.

But from our own personal experience, we know for sure that not all group activities are salubrious. Or even to be recommended as desirable. Especially now, as groups may involve perfect strangers, forcibly strung together as an assemblage paying a fee, for temporary reprieve.  So, a lot depends on the activity itself, what kind of company one has and one's own mindset at that particular point of time.  Some people tend to work well together, without caring for what is actually being done -- even if the activity involved is lazily throwing pebbles into a shallow water-body from a manageable distance of 4 feet, lying down or standing up.  Or instead of chucking something outwards, throwing something inwards into that orifice called mouth, like boiled peanuts, one kernel at a time, once in two minutes with an eerie silence filling the intervals! Certain activities stitch people together well, like games or related pastime -- cricket, football, basketball,  or kabbadi.  This because a certain degree of common interest is already baked into the stuff, including bitching about things and people one dislikes intensely.  Or if one is simply thirsting for some company and resigned to tolerate any kind of fellow beings, then one tends to make something out of any type of temporary formation.  My point is, there are all kinds of group activities at our disposal today and we, as consumers, should read the labels carefully and do a sniff test before jumping in.  Because some of them might sound innocuous but some danger might be lurking around the corners.  

During my high school days, I had a very good friend, who was extremely mischievous and would rather even do a shepherd's chore than waste time studying for exams.  His family was very close to mine, since our fathers were part of the same institution.  Once, when this friend's study pattern took a plunge for the worse, his father, concern writ large on his face, told mine that I should help his progeny  pass the exam. He suggested we did some 'group' studying twice a week for the next few months.  My father readily agreed and told me to do the needful.  In a lighter vein, he also cautioned me not to absorb my friend's habits, ending up having the reverse effect of what was intended.  I was really happy to spend some time with this friend and we got on well for the first few days, even though `study' did not occupy much of our interactions.  One day, I was surprised out of my skin when the friend, with another boy in our class, pulled out some beedis with flourish and started smoking nonchalantly.  As would happen normally, I threatened him that I would report to his father about this transgression.  He coolly told me to go ahead and retorted he would tell my father I had also smoked beedi.  That jolted me because I remembered what my father jokingly said about `reverse effect' of the joint study routine.  Obviously I shut up for the rest of our joint study days and was relieved when it was over.  In later days when we were working men, this friend teased me many times whether he should inform my father of the beedi smoking bit!!  Blackmail it was, but was successful, I must confess.  By the way, this friend became a Chartered Accountant and did very well in life!!  So much for all the paranoia of the parents, when he was playing truant in school.

Another group study escapade of mine was of my own choosing, for the final examination for graduation.  With a couple of friends who were actually doing different subjects and the purpose of the group study was just to ensure they studied in the nights prior to the exam days.  These two were the closest friends I had during my college days and we spent a whole lot of time together. The problem was I was an early sleeper and went to sleep latest by 10.30.  These two were night owls and listened to music (one favoured old Hindi and Thamizh songs and the other was maniacally devoted to western music) late into the night usually.  I was barely able to make them hold their books until I slept, then they went their ways, chucking their books and leaning into their radios/tapes.  But at about 1 am, they would shake my up awake, pull me out of the house for our nocturnal walk for a kilometre, to a tea shop where we got hot potato vadai and tea.  That was ever the undoubted highlight of our joint study nights.  One of the elders in the friends' family (they were cousins), kept vigil at that time of the night also and ensured that we got back in 30-40 minutes, since they were worried about our gallivanting at that time of the night.  When we returned, they resumed their musical entertainment and I went back dutifully to sleep.  Some study team-work that was!  The irony was that their families thought that I was successfully putting the friends through their hoops for successful graduation.  I tried, but could manage only so much and also because I enjoyed the potato vadai and tea!

Two group activities which I have often been compelled to be part of, without ever attaining the status of a participant, were card games and drinking binges (sometimes, a cocktail of both, which was indeed deadly).  Obviously some 8 to 10 people were involved, which entitles these to be part of this blogpost and the action was raucous and belligerent. I sat around reading something when friends were drinking/playing and was perennially the butt of all the jokes flowing due to my detatchment.  In all such meets, a time came when a rather innocent word or an intended slight became the match-stick for the combustible tempers, which burst into flames immediately.  Angry words were exchanged, liberally peppered with the choicest expletives and sometimes friends turned minor pugilists to shower blows on each other.  Almost always the whole proceedings were amusing to me and I was aghast that grown up guys can make such asses of themselves, indulging in group activities which were meant to be fun! To give the devils their due, the next day almost everything is forgotten (probably nobody remembered anything, due to their extremely sloshed condition) and in one case I have even seen a machette which was used to threaten earlier became the subject of inspection the next day, with both the macheter and machetee admiring it together and wondering how to enhance the power of that scything implement!

Political discussion is another volatile group activity one should venture into, only if the members are of even temperament and don't tend to fly off the handles ever so quickly when they resent a point put forth. It should be a ubiquitous occurrence where thick friends turn nasty foes by the time the group aborts the arguments in a huff. We all know that our opinions do not count for much in the overall reckoning and such discussions have no real impact value. Still the whole process turns incendiary within minutes, leaving the scars on the friends-turned-foes for a few days, if not weeks.  Ultimately they would get together, but the transient damage is done.  And probably this will be repeated soon again when the present scars heal a bit.

But when we reminisce about our earlier days, especially school and college life, group activities are always a perpetual source of happiness and entertainment.  Group trips, cricket matches, kabbadi games, evening strolls in the bazaar, high decibel movie outings on the first day of a picture, weddings of friends and other similar functions etc always resurrect those warm joyful feelings which we experienced earlier.

When I presented this to my dear wife, she looked at my sarcastically and said I had forgotten one important group activity we always thoroughly enjoy.  I looked at her, puzzled and pat came the statement `family get togethers of all hues'.  She twisted the kinfe in a bit by saying that as usual, friends occupied so much space in this blog and the family none at all!!  I had to agree sheepishly.