Some time back, the Supreme Court (SC) had advised the government to see if corruption can be legalized, no doubt agonized by the endemic presence of the malady in India. Reactions within my household were different -- my father tut-tutted, shook his head in sombre acknowledgement, but did not want to waste any words on a situation which he sees as beyond redemption; I was simultaneously amused by the judges' dig at the politicians and ashamed as an Indian; my son smirked and said that SC judges had not lost their sense of humour. Dripping sarcasm notwithstanding, the comment probably reflected the thinking of a good chunk of the right-minded and corruption-stricken population, which could not see a way out of the quagmire into which various government departments have descended over the past few decades. While being acutely aware of the utter seriousness of the issue and the distress this causes to people at various levels, this scribe attempts to see a set of bizarre and ridiculous outcomes, should the government choose to pick up the gauntlet thrown by the SC.
The Scenario: Indian Parliament legalizes corruption by unanimously approving a new law. Not a single member of the combined Houses voted against the legislation. When a voice vote was done first, the speaker thought she heard some 3000+ voices in favour, whereas the combined strength should have the maximum decibel level supported by around 750 people. Confused, she resorted to checking the numbers via hand vote and found that it was still almost double the total strength of the houses; she found out that was because almost all the members, carried away by their enthusiasm, were holding up both hands and some feet also. Finally it was concluded that all those present were fanatically in favour of the new law - only because they harboured this pious hope that India will finally be rid of corruption!! No other ulterior motive in this, they vouched!! There were 56 absentees, ironically due to the fact that those MPs were in jail, facing criminal or corruption charges; there was not an iota of doubt as to which way these worthies would have voted.
Coming down to the nitty-gritties like `fixing' the legalised charge, while seasoned seniors in the hierarchy advocated a `whatever the traffic will bear' dictum to drive the collection into the kitty, the more `disciplined' lot wanted a ceiling to be prescribed. A cap of 5% on the amount payable to the government was fixed for ad valorem computation of Speed Money (SM) in the cases involving individuals. Oh, this writer forgot to record the fact that the lawmakers jubilantly removed the word `bribe' from the lexicon of the government and administration in India and smugly substituted it with `Speed Money'. 10% was the corresponding cap prescribed for transactions involving companies/business. Some sources indicated that some Ministries, especially the Telecom ministry, were not amused with the low cap and they argued that they can rake in almost 300% of the value of the contracts currently, with their deft manoevres. Their legitimate question was why should they give up that lucre for a mere pittance?? But for now, their voices seem to have been suppressed with an iron hand by the powers-that-be!! There were some murmurs among sophisticated government officials that there should be an `economy' rate and a higher `executive' rate to differentiate between normal and expeditious service, but this thought process is yet to gather momentum.
Speed money payable in each case will be finalised through negotiation between the payer and the government officials, subject to the ceiling prescribed. The mandarins reasoned that if a specific rate was fixed and paid by everyone, thereby eliminating any scope for pow-wows with the public, the entire government machinery would lose touch with people completely. This was a major concern amongst the public-service-oriented officials and they opted for a ceiling and negotiations, as in old days. Receipts will be issued for amounts inclusive of speed money, thereby maintaining a high level of integrity and transparency in the deals. Parties can resort to a pre-determined arbitration process to break a deadlock. Other details were left to the Ministry of Speed Money Oversight -MSMO- (yes, a new Ministry has been formed, with a Cabinet minister in charge, to monitor the functioning of the government in this critical area) to implement. Last heard, the four senior most ministers in the central government including the Prime Minister, are lobbying intensely to grab this position, since they believe that this ministry will make the most stellar contributions to the society, politics and life in general in the country, going forward.
Some expected consequences: Indian polity and public will see a paradigm shift in the process of selection of candidates for elections to the Municipalities, Corporations, Assemblies and Parliament. Election Commission is expected to come up with a set of new requirements that prospective candidates should ostensibly meet before their applications for contesting the elections will be accepted. All those who profess to be `clean' and have no corruption case against them will be disqualified summarily and they will not be eligible to even obtain the application form. This is deemed necessary since elected representatives are expected to use their experience to be innovative in taking the legitimized speed money regime to greater heights in the new environment, which will be somewhat restrictive due to the legal provisions.
Courts will have no jurisdiction in future, over cases involving disputes regarding speed money payment. MSMO will be the final adjudicating authority and will have administrative offices in each district to provide effective oversight in this matter; this will definitely reduce the number of cases ending up with our judicial system currently. Vigilance Commissions (VCs) at the Centre and in the States will be completely revamped because their roles will undergo a sea change. Their primary role will be to investigate if any government officer is acting against MSMO's directives; they will look for culprits in the ranks of the bureaucracy and its minions, who try to stymie the carefully crafted structure by omitting to collect speed money or collecting less than the optimal amount. This obviously requires that all honest and clean officers in the VCs be cashiered forthwith and `suitably speed-money oriented' officers roped in.
The most surprising and significant fallout of this new law has caused consternation among all central and state government employees. This tribe, which is used to a steady income in the form of salary, even though it was a small portion of their overall compensation, has been stung by the proposal that the government will no longer be `responsible' for the compensation (salary, allowances etc) payable to the employees. While the scales of pay and allowances will be determined by the government as is done now, the various departments have to defray this expense directly from their speed money collections. This master stroke by the government will ensure that the entire government machinery flexes its muscles to maximise the collections (because their take-home pay will come out of this) and there is no scope for weak-links, who are drags on the overall efficiency of the system. While excess accrual of Speed Money (over and above the compensation) can be distributed among the various employees, short collection will not be made up from the government coffers. This means there is a clear incentive for all the government employees and departments to pull, as a team, in the same direction. People realise this is something which has never happened before and are excited about this development. Also, various officers in the hierarchy will be kept honest by the need for sharing the speed money with everyone else in the office and this will serve as an in-built mechanism for control and audit. The clear advantage for the public is that all revenues received by the government will be used for development work, without any portion being swallowed by the officials. Various third world countries are so impressed by this model that they are waiting to see how India successfully implements this, before asking for help to import the same.
All agents will be completely eliminated and all dealings will be directly between the citizen and the government. What more can one ask for from a government? Imagine walking into a document registration office, where you have to pay Rs.130,000 as registration charges. You pay some Rs.5200 extra as speed money and pronto, the job is done and you are out of the place with the registration done. Sounds like the epitome of efficiency to this writer!!
Sorry, what was that question?? `What if some officials demand a `bribe' over and above the prescribed limit of speed money'? Oh, damn, well, hmmmm, errrrrr, you mean to say that is likely to happen? Just because Indian government officials cannot envisage a life without bribes?? Are you saying we will be back to where we began, despite all the good work done with this new legislation?? Does someone have a solution??
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